I found this on a message board and thought you'd enjoy it.

Banned from Wal-Mart

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Adams
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Adams are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras .

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' MissionImpossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Sincerely,
Wal-Mart

roflmfao

HAHA that is great.

lol funny stuff

That didn't really happen, did it?

hahahahahhaaa

Originally Posted by IwilllickGina

That didn't really happen, did it?

No, actually it's a rehash of an old email forward that used to be sent around called "Fun Things To Do At Walmart". They just reworded some of the jokes from that one into this.

Originally Posted by Spectrum

I found this on a message board and thought you'd enjoy it.

Banned from Wal-Mart

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Adams
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Adams are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras .

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' MissionImpossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Sincerely,
Wal-Mart

LOL i tryed some of these and you ought to seen the employees faces

haha Nothing like WAL-MART Hilarity, and these were Hilarious! =)

Originally Posted by Jarian28

haha Nothing like WAL-MART Hilarity

Agreed, Target hilarity just doesn't come close.

I've seen these so many times, but they have staying power. Still funny every time like fish dicks.

Originally Posted by golden

I've seen these so many times, but they have staying power. Still funny every time like fish dicks.

Still funny every time like fish dicks.

Didn't now fish had dicks Golden.

Originally Posted by ravenmetal

Didn't now fish had dicks Golden.

One would assume male fish would.

OLD!!! seen it done it and got looked at like I was mentally challenged alot. also posted this on myspace like a year ago

Originally Posted by golden

like fish dicks.

then you must be a gay fish

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAxailJPU5Q"]YouTube - South Park - Kanye West - Gay Fish[/ame]

I had a good laugh on that one...thanks Spectrum

lol funny stuff

Ha, ha that is funny. I have to try some of these the next time I go to Wal-Mart.